Idk wat to do

Hey guys, erica here, so on instagram, i posted a photo with numbers and questions you can ask me, and someone said #20 which was "whats ur one wish?" And i replied, " i wish that i could date the person i like, but she doesnt know it. And im already in a relationship so." And i really hope that lani doesnt see my comment on that photo or else. Im thinking about deleting it later so. Everythings been going ok, my boyfriend asked me to homwcoming and i wouldve felt bad if i said no so i said yes. Even though i really wish i could go with lani. Last night, i had the best dream ever. Lani and i were working on a project together, and i looked up at her to say something, but she was already staring at me. I was flustered and when i finally calmed down, we continued on with the project. Later on, when we finished or whatever, i looked at lani and she looked at me. We started slowly moving in towards each other, she closed her eyes and so did i. Then boom, we kissed. For a while too. God, that was the closest to heaven I've ever been. I wish that moment could've lasted forever. Literally. Then i woke up, and i was smiling this whole morning. My boyfriend asked me why i was so happy and i lied and told him i had a dream where we kissed and stuff. I hate having to do this. I want to break up with him, but he's helped me through too much, ugh. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I dont know what to do, I'm in too deep. Maybe after homecoming i can do something to help me. Idk

Meh

Ok, so we made up and all that good shit, but heres the thing. He told me he was JEALOUS of lani. 😂 Oml, so yeah. I dont blame him. Btw, yesterday i went to dairy queen and there was this super pretty girl there. She had really short red hair, and she had freckles. Gid, was she hot.

Well f*ck

Ok, well i told him and he didnt take it very well. He was at first, confused, then upset, then mad. Hes still mad. After i told him, he was like, we'll talk aboutthis agpfter school. He didnt say a word about it. Not even this morning. Then he texted me saying, during break. He didnt talk to me during our break. Then i finally snapped and said, you said we were gonna take, and yet you didnt even come near me. He texted back saying, after school. I highly doubt he's gonna talk to me about it. I didnt think he was gonna react like this. Lani told bella she liked her, and bella said i know, but I'm in a relationship. So Lani felt bad and she went home during school. That sucks.

Update

So i texted my boyfriend saying that i need to tell him something at lunch. He said, ok see u at lunch. Im finally gonna tell him. Oh, let me give yall some background information about how and when i found out i was bisexual. So this summer, i took a school trip to NY. Only a few of us from my class went on the trip. I dont rememeber where we were, or what day it was, but we were walking in the streets, and i saw this girl in a group of people. They all looked emo or goth or whatever, and she was just stunning. I mean, she had jet black hair cut into a scene look, and she had a band tee on and just, wow. Down where i live, there are no girls like her. And i caught myself staring and i was like, wait, what? I thought i was straight. (So is spaghetti, until things get steamy) and thats when i started thinking, but i like boys too. So i looked around on the internet and found out theres a term for people who like boys AND girls. Bisexual. So i started looking around even more and so yeah. Here i am, with my bisexual self and all. When school started back up, the first day, i met Lani. Oml, was she hot. She has dark brown curly hair, shes a little taller than me, she draws, writes, sings, and plays guitar. All really well. She also watches a lot of anime, and shes learning some Japanese. TELL ME THATS NOT PERFECT. Shes been thought some stuff I've been through as well, such as self harm . So she understands. Oml, im drooling over her as i type. I really hope that my boyfriend, or lani doesnt find this. :( sorry that this post was a bit longer than usual. Im bored and i just got done taking a biology test. I hope i did well. My classes are an hour and a half long bcuz i have only four flasses a day, and the classes alternate every other day, so i have two days to do my hw. Thank God.

Only me

Why life?!?! WHY?!?! Ok, so lani told me she has a CRUSH ON HER BEST FRIEND, WHICH IS BELLA. NOOOOOOO. AND SHES LESBIAN AS WELL. And bella has asked her out before. But over text. :( BUT, bella has a girlfriend already. 😅  i knew she didnt like me. I just knew it. I mean, who would? I asked lani if i should tell my boyfriend about me being bi, and she said she reccomends that i do. Bcuz if he truly loves me, he'll be supportive and love me for who i actually am. I sure hope so at least.

Coming out?

hey guys, erica here. So the other day, i came out to my dad, little sister, and best friend. My dad was fine with it. My little sister, well, thats a different story. She refused to go near me and she wouldnt even talk to me. I felt bad bcuz i came out as my true self, and she didnt like it. My best friend was like, "about time! I could tell, considering you've already "accidentally" kissed a girl." Ok well it was an accident. I tripped and boom. Straight on the lips. Well there goes my first kiss, i thought to myself. And now i have ANOTHER problem. I'm debating whether i should tell my boyfriend. I have no idea how he'll react. No idea. My dad says i shouldn't, but i feel bad if i dont tell him, bcuz i would be keeping a huge secret from him. Plz, if you're reading this, comment below and tell me what you think i should do. Bcuz i have no earthly idea.

Good news?

So i asked lani if the girl she asked said yes to homecoming and she said no. Yesssss. I really shouldnt be happy about that, but i am. My boyfriend still hasnt asked me so i dont know if he is going to. I really wanna ask Lani, but im dating someone, and she probably doesnt like me that way. I mean, shes lesbian and all, but she wouldnt like me, of all people. Ugh, shes killing me and and she doesnt know it. Hey those would be good lyrics. Be right back. Ok, i had to write those down lol. Anyway,  my friend jennifer got asked yesterday by this guy named Joshua. He gave CHOCOLATE COVERED OREOS, and he said, "it would be sweet if you went to homecoming with me." So cliche, but so adorable. She also let me have an oreo. It tasted like fucking heaven.